lesson number 1

when u talked about things that bother u a lot for most of the times at the wrong time, u got people around u to blame u back for whatever u felt or voice out.

when u tried to figure out where u were in one's heart, you'll sad to death when u found a very heart breaking answer

when u think people around u understand u, very soon u'll figured out that is not true

when u think u're alone going through a disaster, u'll miss someone that actually always remember u, cheer u up and actually know u better than u thought... and gives u the hug that u need a most..

but when u cannot reach them,, u'll realize, nobody is more closer to u than ur creator.. Allah the most merciful.. and then without hesitation u'll know all the ujian are to make u CLOSER to HIM, and REMEMBER HIM...

then you'll pray to him "ALLAH BERIKU KEKUATAN.. " amin~

lets the pictures do the talk..

hobi3

Ok hari tu saya dah cerita tentang hobi melukis. Kali ni saya nk cerita hobi membaca pula.

Bila saya mula pandai membaca

Sebenarnya tak ingat pun haha. Tapi, satu perkara yg saya ingat, masa kecil2 dulu bila menonton cerita orang putih ke.. hindustan ke.. cina ke.. selalu saya minta mak/kakak bacakan subtitle. Sampai satu tahap, mereka semua tak mahu bacakan subtitle tu sebab tengah suspen/ ‘layan’ sgt dengan plot cerita tu. Akhirnya disebabkan saya geram dan sungguh-sungguh nak faham subtitle tu, dari rancangan2 televisyen saya belajar baca dengan laju J

Masa kecil2 saya suka baca novel penyiasatan. Tak banyak English novel sebab selalunya English novel mahal, dan saya pun tak pandai sangat English. Jadi banyak la novel melayu. Siri ekspidisi (yg membuat saya suka berangan panjat gunung), siri 3penyiasat, nancy drew, sekolah tengku asyikin, bla.. bla.  Masa ni markah karangan saya memang tinggi2. 96%-98%, selalu jadi karangan contoh. *kembang kejap, eh? Hehe*

Masuk sekolah menengah saya suka baca novel tangkap leleh ni terutama alaf 21. Tapi lama kelamaan saya bosaaannn sangat sebab plot dia sangat stereotype. Gaduh, cinta, cabaran, bahagia. Bosan.bosan. Jadi zaman2 ni saya banyak buat cerpen. Malangnya cerpen2 ni selalu habis tengah jalan. Puisi pun ada jugak. Memang saya ada satu buku khas untuk puisi2 ni. Hehe

Pernahlah kakak saya hantar puisi yg saya buat ke dewan siswa. Tak sangka terpilih keluar. Kecoh satu sekolah, sampaikan budak jr jadikan puisi saya sebagai persembahan semasa perhimpunan sekolah.

Sekarang? Ada juga, tapi macam biasa masih tergantung. Sedih tak punya banyak masa nk mengarang lagi.

P/S-Novelist sekarang yg saya tengah ‘hantu’ ialah Dr. Robin Cook. =)

know what?

I always have this thought; I would write a post about my hobbIES and put some of my drawing collections since I was year 1. I think they were amazing. wakaka. *ni kes masuk bakul angkat sendiri*

well, I did it, but just like most of my cerpen, it went only half way through.. sad, huh? I know.

hmm.. back in Malaysia, I have this so called scrap book of my drawings. Cartoons, plant, houses, bird, river, garfield,mickey mouse, etc..

I love to start drawing when i was about 2yrs old if I'm not mistaken. I love watching my big bro, which i used to call Abang do his drawing. It was like the best painting I've ever seen in my life.I still can pictured how beautiful it was, a shining red Ferrari car in the making. Maybe that was one of many reasons why I love red so much. haha

Then when Abang saw me watching him draw with too much attention and enthusiasm, I asked him to teach me to draw those (of course I talked to him with sign language since he can't hear nor talk). He smiled, and took a small note book on the right of the table, asked me to bring a book which I used to conteng2. Then on the notebook, he pointed out a picture of a very well known cartoon during that era. FIDO DIDO!! the 7UP 'model', hehe. To Abang surprise and mine too, it turns out I did it very well, and Abang marked my drawing, give me A++... there it goes.. my loves for drawing grows and grows =)

Then I started imitates whatever my siblings draw. My sis draw a typical  rumah papan with birds flying and a tree on the side of the house. Her teacher give her an A, she pasted it on the door of our parents bedroom. I also did the same thing, except Abang was the one giving me an A. hehe

I participate in every drawing contest. Poster, portrait of our 1st prime minister.. etc.

2 best memories I've held were:

1.  participate in the national competition during the KOMANWEL98'
2. selling my drawings like pisang goreng when I was in yr 2

but now sadly I didn't draw as much as I did before... and obviously my collection seems to stop since i entered KMS =(

maafkan

tak siapa sempurna.

saya tak, anda pun tak

jadi bila ada orang yg terlanjur kata

anggap saja itu tidak disengajakan

walaupun kalau difikirkan, memang tak layak dimaafkan

kata nista herdik hina..

tapi siapa kita untuk menghukum

kerana kita juga bukan sesiapa,

cuma hambaNya yg menumpang di bumi Nya

Senyumlah wahai cek mek molek!

Hari ini dalam sejarah. *sejarah la sangat, kan? Hehe*

Setelah sekian lama tak berjawatan, kali ini saya menjadi AJK makanan untuk majlis sambutan junior muslim dan muslimah aka LIQA’ MAHABBAH.

Dan Alhamdulillah, saat saya menaip sekarang, sudah setengah jam majlis berakhir dan selesai sudah tugas saya. Seronok betul rasa setelah sekian lama saya tidak berkenduri kendara. Sekali sekala ingatan terimbau pada saat saya dan keluarga bertungkus lumus memasak untuk catering. Masa tu, saya ni tukang kacau dan cedok lauk je. Kali ini, saya perlu masak pula.

Semasa saya diberitakan tentang jawatan ini, ada yg terang2 menempelak saya. Hamba Allah itu mengatakan dia pelik bagaimana saya boleh dijadikan AJK sedangkan saya TIDAK TAHU BERURUSAN DENGAN KAUM ADAM ni. Saya tak marah, saya akui itu kelemahan saya dan saya akui saya ini tiada daya kepimpinan. Jawatan kali ini.. banyak yg saya pelajari.

1.       Saya tahu saya masih perlu baiki cara saya berususan dengan kaum adam ni. Saya tahu saya ni banyak kurangnya. Mungkin saya ada terlepas kata. Tapi sebenarnya, jauh di hati saya saya ingin kami ‘mesra hati’ semasa bekerjasama. Tapi bukanlah maksud saya tu zina hati. Saya akui ada juga yg ambil kesempatan ini untuk berdua2an, maka saya rasa berdosa andai saya tak tegas menegur mereka. Kerana kami berkumpul kerana Allah, tak mahu saya usaha ini terpalit dosa..

2.       

3.       Apa-apa pun, saya yakin ada sesuatu yg Allah mahu tunjukkan kepada saya.. =)

4.       Yg paling utama, saya tahu saya ni kurang senyum. Aduhai.. macam mana agaknya saya mahu senyum sambil serius bekerja? Sebab itu saya suka bekerjasama dengan mereka yg periang. Sebab mereka yg beginilah yg membuat hidup serius saya bersulam ceria =D terima kasih kepada mereka yg berani menegur dan mengingat saya supaya senyum. Maafkan saya dengan muka tak senyum saya..

Usai tiba di rumah, tau apa yg berlaku kepada saya? Saya terbaring penat, tapi muka saya penuh dengan senyuman.. dan sekarang saya menaip entry kali ini, dan senyuman masih bergayut di bibir saya yg tak munggil macam Angelina jolie. Hehe

p/s- maaf tak terpamer di depan kawan2 semua.. J J

tell me

know what?
i think somehow, someway, i am lost.

what's happening? i wonder..
where is my usual self?

is the so called new me is better?

travelling makes me thinks a lot. about almost everything..

sTuBbOrN??

30 jan 2011, 5.33pm

Come to think of it, somehow I realise how stubborn I am in holding to my own principal.

Last few days someone give me a chocolate although I refused to accept it. Why? It is simply because I don’t think I can accept those with BIG and OPEN heart. I don’t want to betray that person or my own feeling. I don’t want to act cool when I’m not. Maybe I was laughing, but it just feel it is not right for me to accept that chocolate because I really know what is the hidden meaning behind it. Lastly the person sit next to me was force by that person to put the chocolate inside my bag and later the lecturer comes. I totally forgot about it. But to tell you the truth now, although I love chocolate very much but still, I haven’t eaten those.

Last few years during my college life I got a dunkin donut request, without knowing who the sender was. Just a few words on the wish card with the initial of his name. Me, being stubborn; promise to myself that I would not eat it unless I know who the sender was. So I tried asking among my friends but the answers were always ‘not me’ till I was about to surrender. I thought someone want to play dumb with me. But I guessed I was wrong when suddenly someone text me. Only then I know, then I eat it.

Seriously, I don’t know whether this stubbornness of mine is acceptable or not. (T__T)?

You tell me.