#diaryOfHOLife

"tapi imah xsampai hati.. bila fikir mcm mana kalau imah kat tempat dia"  kataku

ayah terus memotong kataku dgn tegas " jangan nk kesian2 sangat dengan org. Orng xkesian pun dgn kt"

"hmm" balas aku separuh mengiakan kata ayah

Aku ni da sifat semula jadi xboleh tgk org ssh. nak tolong. tapi sifat aku ni menyusahkan dirI aku sndiri. ye. aku tau. tp hati aku tak aman kalau aku xbantu. sebab aku selalu fikir mcm mana pula kalau aku alami kesusahan mcm tu, siapa akn bantu aku?

"Allah ada. igt tu selalu. apa2 pun.. mohon bantuan Allah.." kata ayah mcm dpt membaca apa yg terbuku di hati.

"thummasabilyalassaraa" sahut suara mak dari jauh. mesti mak tahu aku tengah gundah.

Allah beri aku kekuatan.. ampuni hambamu yg byk berdosa ini.... :'(

random #diaryofHOlife

so we had another date for dinner for the.. 5th time?I guess. she was one of those who once bullied me / kutuk me during my 1st posting.. who knows we will be sitting for dinner together. every date we had, we hd a sincere conversation, revealing bit by bit about ourself.. *thats what I thought*

I learnt to know her better. I can feel her sincerity also. I hope what Im feeling is right. I am alwqys want to thnk positive of a person, praying to Allah for that I wont be betrayed or make fun by other ppl by doing so.. some time I feel pity to her on how ppl talkng behind her back. but I realised that she is taugh. she knew herself better thn anyone else.

tonight she said to me..
"naimah, kau jgn la innocent sgt, nnt kau kne buli.. aku kesian dgn kau" towrd the end suara dia perlahan je. I just smiled. that is just me.. im trying to be that way too but its hard. im still trying anyway..

moga Allah beri kam kekuatan